ngaa as in why

ahay. ngaa wala topnotcher aw?
. . .

anywho, my phone's like shet. gaga ka, ngaa wala ka bluetooth man?
seriously. ngaa?
ps: aien, pls pay in advance if you want the fb photos your kapitbahay crush.
cash lang, please ;)

come back to me

the thrill of blogging (and of revealing things i normally dont to people, eh?) just ceased into neverland for the past weeks. ive wondered why, really. is it because of the fact that ive grown tired of typing my daily nonsense and that ive learned to deal things in my own, perhaps sensible, way. or that i have deeper personal issues w/c i couldnt bare the idea of seeing this blog a lot more dramatic than what i would have feared of. or maybe, just maybe, ive lamented over and over that i need to leave this cyberspace for good.

...nahh, i was sooo tired that i couldnt press a single damn key.

seriously, lame reason. but hey, one of those statements COULD BE the exact explanation towards my inevitable absence. whatever the reason was, im still here. hello, blog, im back from a very long, long vacation. :)


i wished i had actually. but not posting anything just made me feel so. away from home -- drama :)) but really, having myself facing away from the monitor made me realize that whenever im stuck w/ you, all i ever think of were problems and suicidal thoughts, to say it the least. suicidal or not suicidal, you made me feel that way. why i have unfortunately crawled back again to what i used to call my fire exit from hell is still a mystery to you and to me (?) but being here pondering on useless things as the time passes by is definitely refreshing. and, comforting. plus you listen -- of which most people lack of. pffft. anywho, just forget about everything that i just said. its good to be back :]

Mid pleasures and palaces though we may roam,

Be it ever so humble, there's no place like home...

unintentional humor

ka-funny kay sir mcdo ah. chukuliht. that's all :))

i advise, most of the time

dearest martin,
may ara ako gwapo nga crush. as in patay luyag ko sa iya, teh gin lagas-lagas ko na lang sya kay desperada na gid ako. mapasugot lang sya nga maging kami kun hatag ko ang you know sa iya. galing love ko gid sya, pero dapat i give up ko gid si chastity even before marriage?
-desperate housegirl

desperate housegirl, if that's your real name, dapat mangkutuon mo anay imu sarili ngaa nag email ka sa akun nga indi man ta kilalahay. but, anywho, im willing to share a few thoughts about your provocative fantasies. simple, just do it. since you've already cornered him into making the poor bastard as your fiancee, i wouldnt be surprised to know that alpot is your middle name. but to become a fulfilling alpot takes precious time, effort and a lot of cash. and brains, too -- but fear not, most alpots dont mind to be smart. here's a little tip though in case you're missing some neurons: be a hundred percent sure that you'll get pregnant afterwards -- its the classiest&oldest trick in the alpot book. i hope my words of alpotness have rendered a bit of aid in your dilemma. good luck! ;]

ella, ella

since the weather's such a poop lately, im having a hard time relating my feelings with my umbrella. after a terrifying encounter with mother nature wherein jm and i had to force our way going to roest with our umbrellas angled nearly 90degress horizontally against the raging rain, i just realized that my payong is soo lame. lucky though that i was able to survive and reach home not looking like a wet innocent monkey. if frank were to revisit again, my built-for-one umbrella wouldnt stand a chance. plus the fact ive wasted cash on it just makes me all the more sad and guilty for being broke the moment i bought the evil umbrella of hell. &to make things worse: not only will i be a wet monkey :) for the next few days, but a broke&silly one too. enough about ranting about my umbrella. ;]

on the evil-er side of the world, i really hate someone in our class today. and "her" name is IPIS. >:[ thats it. i just hate her. bitchy much, and no, i wont talk to you ever. and to think that the other guy your attached to was the whore-ribble one.

..and i still find it awkward to have new classmates. lost, really. but i did enjoy the sex education-inspired debate. ;] i hope to get along with some people soooon.

first

...it`s really not the same.
first day was okayy. thats it. just okay.
maybe people in ii-a are just too shy, but im still eager to know, hopefully, who's the langka-lankaons in our section. haha. but no one -- maybe, ever, i believe -- can really outdo the charm of THE kevin lagtapon. xD i guess i'll just have to be contented of the effort i did to make new friends (it was nice meeting you kai ;> ) and all. :) though i didnt exerted any, haha tomorrow i shall. i'll try my hardest this time to catch someone's attention. pa hard-to-get effect lol. may the best whore win *striking a bitchy fierce look on aien* :]]

yes, i've learned

~wouldnt it be nice if everyday were an epiphany? :)

it has been a long time -- way, way long perhaps -- since the last time i wrote something sensible about my daily life in this scanty-substanced blog. ranting and venting out emotions may be helpful in some way to relieve my introvert tensions, but its time -- for me [haha, drama] -- to face life more positively. well, to recount memories of the past months, i had been cursedly torn between two polar behaviors. i had my fair share of, as everyone else has too, gloomy&dark and happypill days. but one, make that two desperate events, still etched in my frenzied mind, can explain a thing or two of what im really trying to say..

..uno: is it my angst? or my angst-sud?
*uno. espanyol, para lain naman :))
sir g had this video presentation about health assessment during one of our classes. minutes after his 'kidding'-inspired lecture, everyone was running after him as if he were some sort of celebrity or maybe a flea market vendor whos giving away 50%discount to the first 2 customers who would presumably buy his talongs. [hahaha] but i was wrong, of course. he was giving copies of the health assessment vid via usb. the bright midafternoon sunshine instantly turned black--in my imagination that is, para may drama effect-- as i raged and pressed my anger on my stress toy, aka aizlynn. though she asked me over and over why im upset, i remained quiet while letting my now-released anger hormones do the job. she describes those martin moments as "angst". im really not sure about it since my hearing was impaired and stressed during that time. i could have had heard the term she was referring to as "angst" instead of "angsud". :)) one way or another, the two are similar. still, the outcome was positive: i returned to my old blank self again..right after i received my dvd copy of the vid courtesy of menggay and co. a trifling and shallow reason indeed.

..dos: same topic, different scenario
'you could just see the dreaded and tireful looks in my classmates' faces.' albeit the stress and wearisome reactions, i was special on that very day (well, count febby too). no mixed reactions, no tantrums, just pure obsolete anger. my initial encounter with my first HA patient was unforgettable. comparing him/her with my 2 previous extremely kind and open interviewees, he/she was undoubtedly on the 11th mark of my pain rating scale. he/she was arrogant, uncommunicative, not open. what more could you ask for? while my groupmates (febby excluded) were gleeing in front of their clients, i was stuck with a forced grin trying my very best&bitchless way of being therapeutic. but the result presented that my efforts were unpralled to his/her needs. again with the "angst/angsud" comment, but this time it came from febby. fastforward-ing. two days later, i cant believe that i am undeniably attached to my client and his/her wife/husband. it was foolish of me not to consider his/her diagnoses. the compliment did help [hahaha], but it was a little understanding that achieved a closed gap between the bridge.

THEREFORE i conclude that im still happy even though those moments showed how shallow and ignorant i can be at times. if everyday were an epiphany, the point of living the unavoidable surprises of life while learning from them would had been useless or no point at all. those imaginary daily epiphanies are mere dreams, nothing but an appetizer of what heaven should taste like. meanwhile, to be positive as i have said moments ago, lets just rejoice of what life has to offer -- may they be twisted joys and smiles, this-is-the-end tears and screams, or perhaps those rare dramaqueen snapshot moments. thus [what im really trying to say is that :))] for every surpassed and hump-ahead struggles, just think of them as a new adventure we could learn from, or a math problem with limitless solutions, or a curtain-raiser prelude to eternal epiphany to make it sound better (*wink wink*). but for the mean time, an aphrodisiac appetizer wouldnt taste that bad, would it? ;)