Word Salad 3.1

The 8 things I wanna share before I officially turn 19 years old, virgin, single and unintentionally happy lol (actually this was supposed to be an 18-item list but 18 is too much and impossible considering my pace):

1. I've greeted a number of people on their birthdays, and have even written profound from-the-heart messages (lol) to my closest friends, esp. December babies (Aien, JM, JJ girl) like myself. But never has it occurred for me to think how old yet contradictorily young the age of 19 is. Because just moments ago while enjoying another fatty holiday meal, I realized that one more year, I'll be 20. Damn, and I don't even look or act like my age. So I'm currently bothered that I'm growing old because the truth about mortality that I'll never live forever has never yet crossed my mind until now, honestly speaking. But truth be told, I will eventually have to deal with it and them (soon-to-be) wrinkles.
2. I have an extremely arbitrary fetish over anything tech-savvy, but still in denial that I'm a geek. Lol I mean, geeks are definitely good with computers and all I know is Photoshop (and porn lol). And I have this secret desire of wanting to take up Industrial Designing (yes, there is an official educational course for designing phones, laptops, etc).
3. I don't know what I want for my birthday. Although I can be materialistic and unreasonably shallow, I guess what I want right now is to be closer to God. I know lol but seriously, I do. And I guess going to my favorite haven to ponder (and sometimes bring along friends to chat while others are praying) tomorrow would mean a lot to me. Yes, Jaro Cathedral is my nonhuman pseudogirlfriend.
4. Besides being noble, well, there is one other thing I want for my birthday. Time management. Because I envy too much those who are really good in allocating their time. Achieving that would be more or less equivalent to being one step closer to self-actualization (but a ladder of steps closer if I would perpetually undergo rhinoplasty loljk but I shall someday, and opinions won't have that much effect on my cosmetic dreams).
5. Staring at photos of modern architectural houses and Tumblr-worthy rooms subconsciously stirs my conscience up to the point of asking myself if whether I made the right decision of choosing a healthcare field as my career path. Sad to say, there's no turning back and better embrace reality rather than lament on my lambasting failed dreams of becoming a civil engineer-architect.
6. Again, though I've already confessed this in a previous post, I have a self-diagnosed commitmentphobia, which places me at risk of being "forever alone" and sexually "unmet" for the rest of my lifetime. Then again, it's not all that bad, considering I have a ton of friends whom I know are at risk too. Plus being single fortunately means only one thing: promiscuity.
7. I want to also share my sentiments how sorry I am to my mom and dad for all the times that I had been angry at them. Without the sexual union of your gametes, I wouldn't have existed so I'm very thankful for that. And can you imagine the world without me? (WAHAHAHAHA) On another perspective, although there have been uncountable times that I have been challenged and thought the world (or nursing) just sucks balls, in general, miraculously I'm beginning to see the brighter prospect. And I didn't need any help from a "special someone crap" to teach me that the world can be and is beautiful (spoken truly like a genuine bitter single lol).
8. Lol I think I've shared more than enough personal demeanors. Time to fade within the Internet background cause I have loads of pending school shit to tackle. Now I'm more convinced that I need a stimulant or a nootropic to motivate my frontal lobe into stable functioning.