Breathe: Hala dapat kapuli na ta bago mag 4PM kay may radiation chuchu* kuno!16 hours and 19 minutes after the radiation leak at Fukushima nuclear power plants. I'm still breathing, thyroid glands intact, manhood intact (and stiff, morning woody rofl). Fortunately, I'm still free from any chromosomal mutation changes, so I decided to do my NRES related lit.
(*chuchu - common neologism observed in manic and hypomanic patients)
Me: Tuod bala?
Dobel: Kagina gapati ka nga mapa-Boracay ta, dayon ini nga halin sa BBC News indi ka magpati?!
(7 seconds later.)
Me: Fuuuuuuuuuuuuck!
(Anxiety level increasing. Physiologic changes related to elevated serum epinephrine level manifested. 3 minutes more of screaming and panicking. RLE Group 4 staring.)
Me: Ma-end na ang world kag wala ko pa nahambalan ang person nga like ko nga like ko siya!
(Chos. More panicking thereafter.)
Exactly one hour later. Done. But, wait... FUCK. I finished my part for our related lit within an hour?! What fuckery is this? Have I deviated from my normal procrastination patterns? Had my neural network mutated over night while I sleep soundly and oblivious that the my room is intoxicated with nuclear gases?! In the midst of my woe-is-me-I'm-turning-into-a-mutant-ninja-turtle litany, my sister knocked. And I was in disbelief with what I saw, her face human-like, her paws transformed into human fingers, her body odor... still the same. It appears to be my sister has evolved into a normal earthling, while I, on the other hand, seem to mutate into some extraterrestrial being with an advanced mental capacity. With my heart racing, I was in a state of panic not knowing what to do, so I slammed the door using my alien hands (but I'm quite not so sure if I did use my alien hands or my advanced brain to telepathically slam the door shut).
I hope everyone is all right. To all my beloved human readers and stalkers, please send me food.
